I'm over halfway "done" with this pregnancy. I can't believe it. It has really flown by. Part of me is so excited to meet little William and part of me is totally freaked out because not a thing has been done to the nursery. So much painting, moving, sewing to do!! It exhausts me to think of it.
So, a few observations 5 months in. I'm thoroughly pregnant now. I look the part to a T. There's no mistaking my round belly for anything but baby at this point. It's still cute, but bordering on that part where you look like you are carrying a watermelon or beachball under your shirt.
I took a look at myself in the mirror and noticed some things.
1. My belly button is starting to shrink. Or rather flatten. It's a bit odd looking. Soon I'll pop out like a done turkey!
2. My appendicitis scar which is normally an inch long at most has been stretched to a good 2 inches or more.
3. So far no stretch marks!! At least, not any that weren't already there.
4. I don't have the dark line yet, but my belly seems hairier than usual - I know, probably TMI.
Also, I've developed a different walk. I'm not waddling yet, but I definately have a wider stance than before. And I find myself walking and rubbing my belly a lot. Part of it is because most of the time I'm walking, it's to the bathroom and I have to walk a certain way so I don't pee myself!!! I'm also getting up to fast or something because I'm getting round ligament pain when I start to walk around. So I hold my belly when I walk.
My baby boy isn't very bouncy. I know he's there. I do feel him. His kicks are very low, like he's standing straight up inside me and kicking down. But he's relatively quiet during the day. I hope this means he's a nice sweet quiet boy!!
He's the most active in the morning, which is funny because his daddy and I are NOY morning people. But Jesse says that maybe he's just mad that I woke him up. Maybe he's like me (I am quite a bear in the morning).
I have reached that point where just about all my clothes no longer fit - even my "fat" clothes.
I cannot wear any pants that aren't maternity and all but a few of my shirts can't be worn because they are either button ups (no give - not happening) or once they stretch around the belly they come up a couple inches shorter than they used to. Which is not attractive or office appropriate.
I think it's time to get some new shirts. I don't want to spend a lot of maternity clothes, but if I only wore what I have right now in maternity, I'd have like 3 or 4 outfits. I'm already tired of seeing me in the same shirts. I imagine my co-workers are too!
This is what I get for having a skinny husband. I can't even raid Jesse's closet for stuff because he's just about the same size I was before I got pregnant!!
Baby Tracker
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Crazy Dream
I had the craziest dream the other night.
I dreamt that I was breastfeeding my dog. I picked up Penny, my 5 lb minpin, and held her like a baby and breastfed her. I remember in the dream being nervous that it would hurt because she has teeth, but being so excited when she was able to. I called Jesse and my mom into the room because I was so proud of her. It was so real and so bizarre to breastfeed a DOG!
Then Jesse told me to stop because the floors needed to be cleaned. I said "ok, I'll get a mop" and then he started yelling at me that no, they were too filthy for a mop. That I had to get down on my hands and knees and wash the floor inch by inch by hand. He was so mean!!!
I dreamt that I was breastfeeding my dog. I picked up Penny, my 5 lb minpin, and held her like a baby and breastfed her. I remember in the dream being nervous that it would hurt because she has teeth, but being so excited when she was able to. I called Jesse and my mom into the room because I was so proud of her. It was so real and so bizarre to breastfeed a DOG!
Then Jesse told me to stop because the floors needed to be cleaned. I said "ok, I'll get a mop" and then he started yelling at me that no, they were too filthy for a mop. That I had to get down on my hands and knees and wash the floor inch by inch by hand. He was so mean!!!
Monday, March 28, 2011
A light at the end of the tunnel maybe?
So the good news is there is nothing wrong with my gallbladder, liver, pancreas or kidneys. I won't need surgery.
This really is good news because I've fretted over the last week about having to have surgery while pregnant and am I doing this for me to ease my pain or is it the best thing for my health, etc. etc.. etc..
The bad news is they don't know what is wrong with me still. My doctor sent me to get a chest xray to see if it is some sort of inflammation. I haven't gotten the results back yet, but I have an appt with her tomorrow.
This weekend Jesse and I decided to experiment and see what caused pain or more pain and what didn't. So I went off the super bland diet slightly. Not like crazy, eating an entire bucket of fried chicken!! But I added dairy back and I had a little bit of bacon yesterday and a waffle with syrup. Saturday I was in pain, but I spent the whole day walking/standing around at the Mito 5K and then mom and I went shopping and registered for gifts. When I got home around 5pm I was in pain, but not extreme pain like before.
Yesterday I did a little housework, but I took a lot of breaks in between and spent the day in bed propped up at 45 degree angle. Very little pain all day. Even from 4-8 pm which is when it is usually its worse.
Today at the office, I've got my chair leaned back to 45 degrees instead of straight. It's been worse at the office and I wonder if it has something to do with the way I've been sitting.
So far so good... It's 10:30 and usually by now I'm in a little bit of pain. If I can go the afternoon like this, then that would be awesome.
I still don't know what is causing this, but if I can get it manageable then that's one great step in the right direction for me!!!
I'll just be happy to be able to eat again. I lost 2.5 lbs in 5 days on the potato and chicken only diet and I can't be losing weight like that!!!
This really is good news because I've fretted over the last week about having to have surgery while pregnant and am I doing this for me to ease my pain or is it the best thing for my health, etc. etc.. etc..
The bad news is they don't know what is wrong with me still. My doctor sent me to get a chest xray to see if it is some sort of inflammation. I haven't gotten the results back yet, but I have an appt with her tomorrow.
This weekend Jesse and I decided to experiment and see what caused pain or more pain and what didn't. So I went off the super bland diet slightly. Not like crazy, eating an entire bucket of fried chicken!! But I added dairy back and I had a little bit of bacon yesterday and a waffle with syrup. Saturday I was in pain, but I spent the whole day walking/standing around at the Mito 5K and then mom and I went shopping and registered for gifts. When I got home around 5pm I was in pain, but not extreme pain like before.
Yesterday I did a little housework, but I took a lot of breaks in between and spent the day in bed propped up at 45 degree angle. Very little pain all day. Even from 4-8 pm which is when it is usually its worse.
Today at the office, I've got my chair leaned back to 45 degrees instead of straight. It's been worse at the office and I wonder if it has something to do with the way I've been sitting.
So far so good... It's 10:30 and usually by now I'm in a little bit of pain. If I can go the afternoon like this, then that would be awesome.
I still don't know what is causing this, but if I can get it manageable then that's one great step in the right direction for me!!!
I'll just be happy to be able to eat again. I lost 2.5 lbs in 5 days on the potato and chicken only diet and I can't be losing weight like that!!!
Monday, March 21, 2011
The Waiting Game
First of all, I can't believe how emotional I am pregnant. I seem to cry a lot more than before.
Anyway, Just an update. We went to the hospital this morning for an ultrasound on the gallbladder to see what's wrong (if anything). They didn't want me to bring Jesse back there with me, but I that made me want to cry so I told them I wanted him there.
Anyway, during the ultrasound I couldn't see the screen, not that I would know what I was looking at anyway. She (the technician) did a lot of clicking and kept going over this one spot several times and I could tell she was measuring something at one point. I wanted to ask her what she was seeing, but didn't, so instead I just teared up.
When she was done she said we'd get the results tomorrow. I was under the impression that a doctor would talk to us the same day and hearing that I would have to wait a day made me weepy. I called my doctor to confirm and she said that yes, we would have to wait a day to get the results back.
I must have heard wrong and then I felt stupid and like I had wasted Jesse's morning. I went back to work but for some reason I was overcome with emotion and just cried at my desk.
I'm not sure why I was crying. Because I thought they found something? Because they won't tell me what they found? Because I said I was going to talk to the doctor today but misheard? Who knows.
While I cried my pain came back which only made me worse, now I'm worried they didn't find anything and my pain is "mysterious" and undiagnosable.
I just hate waiting. I feel like my emotions are being jerked around and I seem to have an abundance of them lately.
Anyway, Just an update. We went to the hospital this morning for an ultrasound on the gallbladder to see what's wrong (if anything). They didn't want me to bring Jesse back there with me, but I that made me want to cry so I told them I wanted him there.
Anyway, during the ultrasound I couldn't see the screen, not that I would know what I was looking at anyway. She (the technician) did a lot of clicking and kept going over this one spot several times and I could tell she was measuring something at one point. I wanted to ask her what she was seeing, but didn't, so instead I just teared up.
When she was done she said we'd get the results tomorrow. I was under the impression that a doctor would talk to us the same day and hearing that I would have to wait a day made me weepy. I called my doctor to confirm and she said that yes, we would have to wait a day to get the results back.
I must have heard wrong and then I felt stupid and like I had wasted Jesse's morning. I went back to work but for some reason I was overcome with emotion and just cried at my desk.
I'm not sure why I was crying. Because I thought they found something? Because they won't tell me what they found? Because I said I was going to talk to the doctor today but misheard? Who knows.
While I cried my pain came back which only made me worse, now I'm worried they didn't find anything and my pain is "mysterious" and undiagnosable.
I just hate waiting. I feel like my emotions are being jerked around and I seem to have an abundance of them lately.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Gall Bladder troubles
For the past week or so I've been having really bad chest pain. Not like "I'm having a heart attack!" but more like someone has kicked me in the ribs. My first thought was William is kicking me, but he's no where big enough to be near my ribs.
Then I thought it was my bra - so I got a new, bigger softer one. No dice. It only got worse.
So I thought it might be a chest infection. I had a bad cold a couple weeks back that never really went away 100%. So I called my doctor and they wanted to do a chest x-ray which I said, "ummm... I'm pregnant" and they said, "Call your OBGYN, we can't treat you".
So yesterday I finally decided to go see my OB. I felt so dumb sitting there. It's not like I'm in excruciating pain. It's constant and sometimes incredibly painful, but it's no appendicitis (my appendicitis is the most painful thing I've ever gone through so all other pain gets compared to that).
I told the doctor that I didn't want to be one of those women who call about every little twinge or ache, but it wasn't going away and it seemed to be getting worse so I figured I'd have her look at it.
She poked around at me for a few minutes and determined it's probably my gall bladder.
She turned real serious all of a sudden and told me that she was going to have me have an ultrasound done at Methodist Germantown and set up a surgical consult, just in case. She didn't think it was something caused by my pregnancy, but it's not uncommon for pregnant women to have gallstones and the like.
I was kind of numb. I didn't really know what to say or ask and what I did ask she didn't know because everything depends on how this ultrasound goes. She gave me a special diet for the weekend and Monday morning I check in to the hospital. But if I have an attack over the weekend to go immediately to the ER.
So now, I'm completely freaked out. I'm terrified. I went home and cried and then laid in the bed for hours, depressed.
I'm so scared that I'll have to have surgery and put William at risk, or that they can't do surgery until after he's born and I won't be able to breastfeed or bond with him. I'm terrified that there's nothing they can do and I'll be in pain for the next 4 months. I'm not sure I can handle knowing I'm going to have this pain every day for 4 more months at least. I've been dealing with it ok now because I assumed it would go away soon. Knowing it's not going anywhere is going to make my life awful.
I'm terrified that I'm going ot have an attack and not know it. The doctor said an attack is if I'm in excruciating pain. What's excrutiating? What one persone finds unbearable another might just deal with. The pain never really goes away, but there have been a couple of times where I've been doubled over from it. Is that excruciating? Should I go to the ER then?
I don't know. I'm really scared about all this right now.
Then I thought it was my bra - so I got a new, bigger softer one. No dice. It only got worse.
So I thought it might be a chest infection. I had a bad cold a couple weeks back that never really went away 100%. So I called my doctor and they wanted to do a chest x-ray which I said, "ummm... I'm pregnant" and they said, "Call your OBGYN, we can't treat you".
So yesterday I finally decided to go see my OB. I felt so dumb sitting there. It's not like I'm in excruciating pain. It's constant and sometimes incredibly painful, but it's no appendicitis (my appendicitis is the most painful thing I've ever gone through so all other pain gets compared to that).
I told the doctor that I didn't want to be one of those women who call about every little twinge or ache, but it wasn't going away and it seemed to be getting worse so I figured I'd have her look at it.
She poked around at me for a few minutes and determined it's probably my gall bladder.
She turned real serious all of a sudden and told me that she was going to have me have an ultrasound done at Methodist Germantown and set up a surgical consult, just in case. She didn't think it was something caused by my pregnancy, but it's not uncommon for pregnant women to have gallstones and the like.
I was kind of numb. I didn't really know what to say or ask and what I did ask she didn't know because everything depends on how this ultrasound goes. She gave me a special diet for the weekend and Monday morning I check in to the hospital. But if I have an attack over the weekend to go immediately to the ER.
So now, I'm completely freaked out. I'm terrified. I went home and cried and then laid in the bed for hours, depressed.
I'm so scared that I'll have to have surgery and put William at risk, or that they can't do surgery until after he's born and I won't be able to breastfeed or bond with him. I'm terrified that there's nothing they can do and I'll be in pain for the next 4 months. I'm not sure I can handle knowing I'm going to have this pain every day for 4 more months at least. I've been dealing with it ok now because I assumed it would go away soon. Knowing it's not going anywhere is going to make my life awful.
I'm terrified that I'm going ot have an attack and not know it. The doctor said an attack is if I'm in excruciating pain. What's excrutiating? What one persone finds unbearable another might just deal with. The pain never really goes away, but there have been a couple of times where I've been doubled over from it. Is that excruciating? Should I go to the ER then?
I don't know. I'm really scared about all this right now.
Monday, March 14, 2011
William Thomas Jacks
We've had this name in our pocket pretty much since we found out we were pregnant. Jesse wanted to name it after his grandfathers if it turned out to be a boy. Which, according to the last ultrasound, it is.
So William Thomas it is. We are thinking of calling him Liam for short. The reason being we already know so many Williams, Wills & Bills. I almost wish we had waited until the baby was born to give the name out because we've already met resistance on the name. But everyone has 4 more months to get used to the idea that William is his name and Liam is what I will be calling him.
In other news, Jesse has started playing music to him at night. He set up several "baby" playlists on his ipod and we have these speakers that attach to my belly so we can play music for Liam each night. I'm always interested in his feedback (ie kicking) to the songs. So far Mozart makes him sit still and Chopin makes him dance around. He also seems to like the orchestrated version of the music from The Legend of Zelda. That's my boy!!!
We are going to try some choral music and other instrumental pieces later this week to see his reactions!
So William Thomas it is. We are thinking of calling him Liam for short. The reason being we already know so many Williams, Wills & Bills. I almost wish we had waited until the baby was born to give the name out because we've already met resistance on the name. But everyone has 4 more months to get used to the idea that William is his name and Liam is what I will be calling him.
In other news, Jesse has started playing music to him at night. He set up several "baby" playlists on his ipod and we have these speakers that attach to my belly so we can play music for Liam each night. I'm always interested in his feedback (ie kicking) to the songs. So far Mozart makes him sit still and Chopin makes him dance around. He also seems to like the orchestrated version of the music from The Legend of Zelda. That's my boy!!!
We are going to try some choral music and other instrumental pieces later this week to see his reactions!
Week 20 - Halfway there
I am supposedly right at the halfway mark. 20 weeks.
How do I feel? This is a question lots of people ask me.
I feel relatively great. Considering a month ago I was throwing up my toes at least once a week, things are much better. I don't get tired quite as quickly as I used to and I can eat many more things. Veggies don't creep me out anymore, for instance. Pizza is still in question. I'm too scared to attempt it to see if it's ok. My nose isn't quite as sensitive either. I don't get offended by soap or deodorant smells like I used to, and air fresheners aren't quite as bad as they used to be.
It used to be that by 5pm I was exhausted and had to take a nap. If I did anything remotely physical I was tired after an hour tops. Now I can go several hours before I get too worn out to continue.
My belly is now rounded and poking out and I look pregnant, not just like I ate too many bon bons.
So all in all, much better.
The only bads are that I can't seem to shake this cold I've had for two weeks now, and sleeping.
I'm a back sleeper. I sleep flat on my back with my arms overhead. Now that I'm well into my 2nd trimester, this is a no-no. So I'm trying to sleep on my sides, but I just can't get comfortable that way. So I really only get a good nights sleep every other night or so.
But I would take a little discomfort at night over being nauseous all day like before!!
How do I feel? This is a question lots of people ask me.
I feel relatively great. Considering a month ago I was throwing up my toes at least once a week, things are much better. I don't get tired quite as quickly as I used to and I can eat many more things. Veggies don't creep me out anymore, for instance. Pizza is still in question. I'm too scared to attempt it to see if it's ok. My nose isn't quite as sensitive either. I don't get offended by soap or deodorant smells like I used to, and air fresheners aren't quite as bad as they used to be.
It used to be that by 5pm I was exhausted and had to take a nap. If I did anything remotely physical I was tired after an hour tops. Now I can go several hours before I get too worn out to continue.
My belly is now rounded and poking out and I look pregnant, not just like I ate too many bon bons.
So all in all, much better.
The only bads are that I can't seem to shake this cold I've had for two weeks now, and sleeping.
I'm a back sleeper. I sleep flat on my back with my arms overhead. Now that I'm well into my 2nd trimester, this is a no-no. So I'm trying to sleep on my sides, but I just can't get comfortable that way. So I really only get a good nights sleep every other night or so.
But I would take a little discomfort at night over being nauseous all day like before!!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Wehadababyitsaboy.
That kept running through my head the other day when the doctor told us it was a boy. It is now a HE!!
The grandmothers are beside themselves with glee. I'm happy to finally be able to start buying and registering for stuff and Jesse gets to use his treasured name (which the family does not know yet).
But then as I spent the last three days at home with a cold and nothing to look at but horrible daytime TV and noticing how filthy my house is, I realized... Oh my goodness, I'm having a boy. I'm gonna have a little boy running/screaming/play sword fighting (with his dad) through the house.
It's all a bit overwhelming. For some reason the thought of him being a girl didn't overwhelm me. Maybe it's cause I'm a girl and I kind of know what I'm getting into with that. But I had no brothers and up until we moved to Millington my only contact with boys was mostly my cousin, Jeremy... who loved to torment us girls.
I don't know a lot about how little boys operate before they are 8 yrs old or so.
I'm going to miss the absolutely adorable clothes that girls get to wear. I went to Target a couple days after and nearly cried when I saw the sun dresses and colorful tights.
But then I turned the aisle and saw brat dolls and older girl clothes that looked like something I wouldn't let my teen age girl wear and I was very relieved to not have to deal with that.
Boys may be more rambunctious, loud, dirty, smelly and destructive little children, but they have got to be easier tweens and teenagers, right?
And while I had visions of a little girl playing dolls and barbies, I can't imagine Jesse getting into that, and I can totally see him playing nerf guns and Star Wars with a boy and getting almost more excited than the kid!
The grandmothers are beside themselves with glee. I'm happy to finally be able to start buying and registering for stuff and Jesse gets to use his treasured name (which the family does not know yet).
But then as I spent the last three days at home with a cold and nothing to look at but horrible daytime TV and noticing how filthy my house is, I realized... Oh my goodness, I'm having a boy. I'm gonna have a little boy running/screaming/play sword fighting (with his dad) through the house.
It's all a bit overwhelming. For some reason the thought of him being a girl didn't overwhelm me. Maybe it's cause I'm a girl and I kind of know what I'm getting into with that. But I had no brothers and up until we moved to Millington my only contact with boys was mostly my cousin, Jeremy... who loved to torment us girls.
I don't know a lot about how little boys operate before they are 8 yrs old or so.
I'm going to miss the absolutely adorable clothes that girls get to wear. I went to Target a couple days after and nearly cried when I saw the sun dresses and colorful tights.
But then I turned the aisle and saw brat dolls and older girl clothes that looked like something I wouldn't let my teen age girl wear and I was very relieved to not have to deal with that.
Boys may be more rambunctious, loud, dirty, smelly and destructive little children, but they have got to be easier tweens and teenagers, right?
And while I had visions of a little girl playing dolls and barbies, I can't imagine Jesse getting into that, and I can totally see him playing nerf guns and Star Wars with a boy and getting almost more excited than the kid!
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