Stolen Moments

The days are better now that we've gotten a handle on breastfeeding. Now it seems like it's the only thing he wants to do. I do feel like I spend all day breastfeeding, but I know that it is worth it and it is what I wanted.
Some days are really good and Liam will eat on a regular schedule and take good naps. I get a lot done on those days, laundry, dishes, little projects... But some days he refuses to nap and wants to spend the whole day at the breast. It's exhausting, but even in the middle of this I try to remember that I will never again have this time with him, where it's just me and him all day. So if we spend all day in bed breastfeeding and getting nothing done, that's ok, because this is my sweet time with my little boy. And he is absolutely precious.

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He's here

Yeah, I'm a smidge behind on getting this updated, but things have happened.

William Thomas Jacks made his appearance August 1st, 2011 at 4:56pm. After 36+ hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing alone, 24 hours of little to no progress at all and talks of having to get a c-section, he finally showed up! And almost on his due date too.

He was a hefty little thing, 8lbs 11 oz and almost 21 inches long. But he didn't really cry a lot when he was born and he was/is absolutely beautiful. Everyone thinks so. And I'm glad. Because I knew that he would be beautiful to me, but I didn't want to be one of those sad women who has an ugly baby but she thinks it's beautiful and people would say things like "Aw.. isn't he sweet" or "All babies are a miracle" or something similar that means basically "Your baby looks like a monkey, but it's a baby so I can't say anything mean about it, really"

Everyone says he looks like Jesse, but honestly, Jesse and I don't see it. We don't think he looks like anyone. We think he got switched in the womb or something because we don't see it. Although the other day Liam was breastfeeding and looked up at me in this squinty way and for a second he looked like Jesse's grandmother. I hope he takes after the Bomar side of my family - they have beautiful babies and children.

He really is a good baby. We've been together almost a month now and we're still working things out, but overall he really is good. Took over a week for my milk to come in. I pumped day and night and didn't get very much sleep there for a week or so. When it finally did come in we had latch issues and though he's a very good feeder now, I'm left cracked and bleeding so it's still a touchy business for us.
But he sleeps well so long as he isn't hungry.

It's weird being a mommy. While I love him very much, there are days where this still feels like a dream and I'm going to wake up to my old life. Mostly I miss having a social life right now. I can't leave the house all that often, so I've got pretty bad cabin fever. But I have good days enough to even out the bad ones.
And Jesse is an absolute dream. While he was bit freaked out by everything while I was pregnant and wasn't sure if he wanted to be in the delivery room, he's been great. He was great throughout labor and delivery, very encouraging even when it looked like I was never going to get the baby out :) And since then he's been a hands on daddy. I know he loves this little guy as much as I do and he has been so supportive of me during my crazy hormonal breakdowns and stressing over breastfeeding. I know he's going to be (and already is) a great dad.

A few "last" thoughts - but probably not

Though I am tired and completely swollen at this point I will miss some things about being pregnant.
I'll miss feeling him kick around inside. He's a very very active little boy and it's been super neat to see how he reacts to different sounds or when I press down on him or when I eat something really sweet. He goes crazy every time the dr tries to check his heartbeat.
I'll miss that closeness we have - but I'll be glad that Jesse will now get to participate more in the bonding.
I'll miss having an obvious excuse for being fat. :)

I probably won't miss the daily inquiries from co-workers to absolute strangers about my weight, the heat, when I'm due and how big I look or tired I must be.
Had a lady yesterday ask me how big he was and I said I didn't know. She (not a tiny woman herself) proceeded to say how much I reminded her of herself at my age and she was the same size as me and had a 9 lb baby.
You know - even if that is true - I don't want to hear it. I want to hear how just because I'm huge I may still have a normal sized baby.
I had another lady at work in the elevator tell me how cute I looked and gave me really nice compliments. Didn't mention the heat or my feet once and I thought - this lady remembers what it's like to be 9 months pregnant. I felt really good after that.
The guys in my office are the funniest though. They range from absolutely awkward to terrified I might suddenly have the baby at any moment to making me the butt of some big joke to completely rude.
They all have bets on when I'll go and everyday whoever's day it is they give me pointers on what I can do to get things moving along so they can win.(roll eyes)
To all my friends and family, I promise you will be told when I go into labor or when he gets here. I swear I didn't have him 3 days ago and forgot to call. :) I have a grandmother who calls 2 or 3 times a day to see if I've had the baby yet. Granted - she's quite senile, but I've had to stop answering the phone because it was driving me batty.
No one wants this baby here more than me, except maybe my mother - who wanted me to have him 3 years ago :P

10 Days to go

10 days left and I'm plum worn out.
Every joint in my body aches and I feel like a 90 yr old woman when I walk.
I had my 39 week appt today and I was armed with questions. I wrote them all down in a notepad and was prepared. I was pretty sure I've done nothing by way of dilation or contractions so I wanted to know how long we were going to let this thing go.
I get to the dr and I am so nauseated. I think it was a combination of the heat outside and acid reflux. I nearly threw up at the office.
I do the usual blood pressure, weight check etc.. and then they put me back in a room. Jesse came with me because we might be discussing induction dates.
I'm sitting there on the table, naked under a paper sheet and the nurse comes in and says my doctor was called away suddenly to deliver a baby. It had to have been just moments before because I saw her just before I went into the exam room.
Great. The one day I'm super prepared and want to ask a lot of stuff she's out. I'm really jealous of the lady giving birth.
So instead they hook me up to a monitor to check his heartrate and see if I'm having any contractions.
I'm not.
Liam had a good ole' time kicking and bouncing the whole time he was hooked up. It's almost like he knew they were listening to him so he put on a little show. Unfortunately, they had to lie me down to do the test and my acid reflux flared up like crazy and Liam didn't help things by kicking me in the ribs every 5 minutes. :)
But, according to the nurse, they will not let me go past 41 weeks, which is August 7. So at my next appt we will schedule an induction around that date, just in case.
Worse case scenario - I will have a baby by August 7. Yay.. even though that feels so far away. Only 17 days, but each day feels like a week.

Counting Down

Two weeks left and I'm pretty sure I'm going to use up every minute of them and maybe then some.

The office has begun placing bets on when I'll deliver and how much he'll weigh. Some of the bets scare the life out of me. (over nine lbs and a week late!!? Really?! I sure hope not!)

I'm okay with Liam making an appearance any day now. I'm not yet completely miserable (although a few more days of 100+ heat might change that). But ideally, he would wait until after this weekend. I'd really like to see the last Harry Potter movie, as much as I know I'll be getting up 5 times to go potty.
And I'm just about caught up at work, but I do have a couple more things I'd like to finish before being gone for 2 1/2 months.

Meals are cooked, nursery is ready, bags packed and in the car.
But as of today I am not dilated or effaced at all. Nor has he dropped. He's quite happy and snuggly inside and gets too much fun poking his mom in the ribs!

The After Shower Party

I had two lovely showers this weekend and had another one a few weeks earlier.

They were all beautiful and I'm happy to say I managed to get through a pregnancy without one game involving guessing how big my belly is!

Now comes the after, loads of thank you cards and putting everything away.
I'm very happy to say that I didn't get that many repeats. I've heard horror stories of Target's gift registry and people getting 5 sets of things and having problems returning them. We only have 4 things that we got duplicates of and those are mostly small items.

Thank you to everyone who was involved with planning, putting together or coming to them!! Because I work with mostly men, my at work shower was half guys. Never seen so many men at a baby shower before. Nice to see them all get out of their comfort zone a bit :)

Just about everything is put away and organized and Jesse and I plan on taking this long weekend to do any returns, grab any last minute items we need, packing our hospital bag and putting the final touches on the nursery. (And he gets to install the car seat!!!)

One month to go now, and after this weekend, I'll be happy to say that I am 100% ready for him to arrive. And I'm actually getting excited about it now. I imagine kissing his little fat toes and fingers. I've been brushing up on my lullabies.
And if I swell any bigger I'm going to look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man before he gets here!!!

6 weeks left

I feel like I'm getting to the home stretch. Or getting really close.
My goal is to have everything ready to go by July 5th. Nursery set up, everything put away, bag packed, a couple weeks worth of dinner in the freezer, purchased everything needed that wasn't received at showers, etc...
So nothing is left to do the last month except wait.

I hope I can meet that goal. It's pretty hefty. But I know I'll feel so much better if that's all done just in case he does come early.

I have a just as lofty list of things I need to do at the office before I go.
I feel stretched really thin right now. Loads of lists and projects stand before me, yet I cannot truly get motivated to start a lot of them.
Most of the time I want to just sit in a pool or take a nap.
At work it's the worst. I try to break up my day by getting up (I usually have to go to the bathroom several times a day now). But by 3 o'clock I am dead tired and my back is killing me.
I start out strong in the morning and usually accomplish a lot, but if anything needs my attention after lunch it's like I can't focus.

I feel quite hideous. I'm thinking of getting my hair done tonight just to boost my self esteem a bit.
I feel like I wear the same 4 outfits over and over. And my quest for comfort at home has me pretty much wearing the same thing every night.
I don't feel like I glow at all. I feel like the beautiful skin my second trimester gave me has now been replaced by a very pale grayish uneven complexion. And the stretch marks are spreading.
I felt cute and pregnanty a few weeks ago, but now I just feel big and pasty. :(